Deferred..

Apart from the waiting that I face because the powers that be have decided to shut me off at the moment, I have other pending responsibilities to take care of. I have no idea when the powers that be will get the memo, or if they will ever respond to end my misery. As for my obligations, I’m only more than willing to comply with what’s needed to be done, although I have no knowledge of the specifics yet.

The most depressing part of my day was when I sent my mom a message informing her of the delay of our plans. I know I should call her but hearing her disappointment about the postponement for said plans is bound to push me off the edge of my sanity. They've expressed their excitement as we were supposed to be with them this coming Chinese New Year but that dream is all but gone now. I’ve reached a new depth in my pool of despair. I’m overflowing with grief and there is nowhere else to put it. I can’t think of anymore distraction to help.

I am asked to make a film review for the new interpretation of “Hansel and Gretel” but I’m not sure how I’ll be able to make an acceptable assessment when my mind is reeling with thoughts of desolation. I of course have no other choice in the matter but to try, I need the dough.

I’m growing restless as time passes swiftly. Helplessness is very unbecoming for me and yet I am stranded. I can only do so little when all I want is to get these over with and just move to the life I wish to build for myself. That life is looking difficult to achieve, it’s seem almost impossible now. And of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..