02/02/2013 6:00PM
So we finally got to Laguna.
Dinner was a bit savage as we were starving, having only eaten junk food on the
way. The place was okay. Hot spring water was calming. But I still can’t shake
the weary thoughts running through my head. I brain doesn't have a shutdown
button so it’s continually bother by contemplation of the days that are
swiftly passing while I stand still watching it go by. The waiting is
unbearable now and paranoia is seeping in. Will I ever be able to start anew?
Are my plans ever going to see the light of reality? Is the dream of leaving
behind the tragedies of my life ever going to be realized?
I’m not so sure anymore..
Still I wait, because there is
nothing else I can do. I've done all can and being hopeful is starting to feel
pathetic. Perhaps the only good thing now is that I can still keep a straight
face. I laugh on cue and I can still talk with sense. I still appreciate the
little things and I enjoy what people would. But life looks normal from the
outside but it’s an entirely different story inside..
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