What's up??

So blogging my thoughts seem like a good idea, safely knowing that no one would probably read it no matter how may times I publish it. Because let's face it, no one really cares what I think because people are generally more preoccupied with their own thoughts. I could probably disappear and no one would notice. Which is both disturbing and refreshing at the same time.

January is a disappointing for me so far. As most people do, I made life altering plans before 2012 ended and now, it's 2013 and none of those plans have been put to actions. Let's just say that the support I was expecting still haven't received the memo that I needed help. I stupidly thought that this year could be my new start because last year was devastating. I made elaborate plans on how I could make my life in order but they're now just a distant memory, dwindling, slowly looking bleaker as the days pass..

The calendar is moving faster than usual and it feels like I'm watching it go while standing still. I've done nothing of significance. Granted some people would say that the year is just starting and there are 11 more months to redeem myself but a month of absolutely nothing is a month I can never get back. Time will not hit the pause button while I try to get myself out of this funk. And the big problem is I don''t know how to get out. I'm about to break and again, I don't know what the frack to do!! It is so fracking frustrating!!

So what now?? It's the question I've been asking myself everyday when I get up and before I go to sleep. It's the question that's on my mind almost every second. And to rephrase those three nagging words, so now what??