Waiting in vain..

The days are breezing by and I'm stuck in nowhere land. My frustration is eating me up. Work is the only thing that has a sense of normalcy but that has a forthcoming expiration and my plans thereafter seem to be crumbling by the minute.

Just to clarify, I'm not deliberately standing still while watching time fly, not doing anything with my life, nor am I throwing it away. I've made elaborate plans on what I was to do to get my life as together as it possibly can but circumstances, it seem, won't allow it. I wanted to travel and move to a different country because anywhere is better than here. The shadow of the tragedy is haunting me and I don't need a reminder of how life was supposed to be. The migration date is looming and I don't have my resources together yet. I'm beginning to feel hopeless but I'm gonna leave either way. Despite a possible delay I will refuse to let go of that escape.

I know the term "escape" sounds cowardly but that doesn't mean I'm leaving behind my responsibilities. That is the last thing I would do. I know there are certain things to be taken care of and I'm not irresponsible. I will not turn my back to them..even the memories, no matter how painful and devastating they may be. By "escape" I merely mean a different atmosphere. I badly need a new start and anywhere but here seems just the place to have it.

So I'm waiting for my world to change, an opportunity to start over, to get a new perspective and get my life in order. Here's to hoping..